A Tale of 4 Male Minds

It’s been a week of varying encounters with the mindsets of Machinegun, Tarzan, Laser and Spouse each of them a challenge to me as in ‘’how do I respond to handle this best?”

Now, I’ve been frequenting this car park for a couple of years, but that day things were going to be different – and how! It was packed because of several meetings in the same building, but the attendant obligingly removed a cone to allow me a parking space because “you’re an old friend” he said. As I finished parking Attendant came up to collect the fees and deliver the bombshell: ever so politely and affably he asked if he might have my phone number. What!!! I thought. “Why?” I asked. Well, he continued in the same affable way “maybe we can become friends because I don’t have a companion” “Uhuhh” I sputtered inwardly, while outwardly I laughingly made light of what was to me a most bewildering turn of events; he’d always been no more than courteous. The next day I had a meeting in that same building, and this time, as Attendant wrote out the receipt said he hoped I was not angry with him for his request his previous day. I said no. So, what does he do? He asks if he can give me his phone number, just in case I’d like to call him. What on earth was he thinking!!!! I’ve since settled on guessing that he hopes that if he tries this ploy often enough, he just might get a positive response from someone. Like spray from a machinegun you know? Actually, I remember a guy saying “A guy tries only because it’s the done thing” Oh guys, guys. That works with low hanging fruit or cheese sitting on a plate. Or is that your point?

With Colleague it was a different story. For weeks since he’d been given new responsibilities he’d been thumping his chest announcing “I’m Tarzan!” by reminding people around us of what they already knew. Then he tried stretching it to test the reach of his actual sphere of influence; or should I say dominance. The crunch came when – full of confidence – he wrote an email stating clearly “Me big Tarzan. You lesser Jane” My response after much thought? “Sorry Tarzan, I’m moving my ops to another part of the jungle." But it’s not going to be quite that simple is it?

Along comes Laser to troubleshoot. What a contrast to the others! Laser calmly lifted layer upon layer of the issues at hand exposing dark areas to his targeted pinpricks of light. He was surgically precise, cautious, exploratory, deliberate in his manner of approach; his message? “Let’s identify and acknowledge the gook, deal with it, and move on to the real business at hand, shall we?” Was he perhaps a surgeon in another life? Surgeons heal; don’t they?

To end this tale, I must tell you about Spouse who is the acknowledged doting brawn while she is the devoted brain in the twosome. They are an amazing couple with an incredibly healthy and loving relationship that seems to draw them even closer together each day (seriously!!), despite the punishing trials they are constantly bombarded with. Or maybe their closeness is because they have embraced their tribulations as 2 halves of a whole? Anyway (as usual) he was eavesdropping as she was telling me that she’d done a quiz which proclaimed that she uses both sides of the brain equally. Sauntering by, Spouse says, “Just because you use both sides equally, it doesn’t mean that you’ve got much of it, dear." I cracked up and quipped about delightfully humorous male minds, and we all broke into peals of laughter together! Ah! There’s a happy ending to the tale after all.