My mobile phone, my rescuing buddy

All smartly suited up and a couple of back-to-back meetings to drive to from one end of the Valley to another, I cruised sedately into the compound of the first meeting place when an urgent call threw my day into immediate, chaotic disarray! Aaaargh! My mother’s condition had worsened since morning, and she needed emergency care. My mind sped furiously into overdrive, prioritizing, deleting, scenario-planning and whatever my powerhouse does in its craaaazy inimitable way.

Swinging away from the parking lots and out back onto the main road, I made my first call to explain that meeting number 1 had to be postponed, with my apologies, due to this emergency. Yes, yes of course, I have a headset that allows me to drive as safely as if I were carrying on a conversation with a passenger in my car – my favorite mentor had shown me how to get the most out of Time and get business done on the go ha ha! Actually, he’s been great for my business deliverables but I confess I’ve sometimes compromised my previous standards of etiquette in favor of the timely efficiency of mobility, naughty me.

Now, which route should I choose to take, to get there in the shortest time? Tick, tick, tick, ticking away, my powerhouse kept up its mental computations for deriving what my next steps ought to be. Aha! A traffic jam up ahead with vehicles patiently craaaawling their way forward inch by inch – what a perfect opportunity to text some urgent messages to colleagues explaining the situation, and apologetically alerting them of my impending absence. But suddenly ……… screeeeech! Thump, thump, thump pounded my heart! WHERE did that rear bumper appear from????? Phew! I’d managed to come to a halt literally 2 inches away. No no NO! NOT good to text while moving even slowly – slap on the wrist – I should have known better anyway. What WAS I thinking!!!!!

By the time we were in the Acute Recovery Area (ARA), my business appointments had been re-arranged, due to the cooperation of my supportive colleagues (thanks guys) and my E71. All my commitments had now been properly delegated, and I could focus on the more mmediate family matters. Mum’s occupation of the Resuscitation Room took a good deal longer than in the ARA – hmmmmm how might I make good use of my loafing around the glass doors whose sensors authoritatively opened and shut firmly separating me from those needing medical attention? Tick, tick, tick why not keep those who need to know updated as events unfold? Sometimes in the dubious comfort of a vacant chair, at others leaning against the wall, I sent numbered updates of what was happening to family and close friends in the Valley as well as those spanning the globe. Did I mention how alien I felt lounging around an Emergency area for hours on end in my corporate gear? No, coordinated accessories are NOT what one normally wears when attending to the ill and distressed. I looked sooooooo inappropriate.

But I digress ….. the waiting time was spent incredibly fruitfully, tapping into family journalism at its best by producing mini mobile newsletters each time there was news to share. I duly numbered them too so that they would make chronological sense to the recipients. Hey! Don’t’ laugh?! The progress reports helped Sibling to decide whether he should take the next flight out or not. The text messages to Europe waited respectfully to be sent till that continent awoke while those in my time zone got the updates immediately This would never have been possible in the days of fixed lines and payphones eh?

And here’s the sweetest sentimental exchange: Mum’s sibling was concerned about the whole palaver, so, while Mum was lying in bed and her sister was in another country, E71 allowed them to exchange their feelings and allay their fears, enabling 2 older ladies to feel more assured than if they hadn’t spoken to each other. Have I told you I love you, E71? Yes, I do – even though you sometimes pout and change things you’re not supposed to; but maybe your upgrade won’t do that?

I spy and see ........ excitement ahead!

Whatever you’ve got planned for the weekend of Oct 23, 24, 25, make sure you make time to savor the bonanza of goodies waiting for you at the gleaming Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre. What’s happening? It’s the GoMobile Expo 2009, that’s what - with all the bells, whistles and freebies you need to get you enjoying greater pleasure at lower cost, every day. Irresistible!!!

There’s a treasure hunt laid on for you, where you can pick up one of an assortment of mobile phones as a prize among many to be won. Do you have Bluetooth? Well, that’s how you’ll get your clues to follow the trail to the treasures. By the way, start thinking about a winning slogan to clinch the deal, yeah?

Maybe you enjoy feasting your eyes on professional fashion models? You can do that THREE times each day, and even vote for your fave designs too, via SMS of course. The designs you’ll see would have been created by Raffles International College and were inspired by – no prizes for guesses – mobile technology.

And while you’re wandering around, keep your eyes peeled for QR codes that’ll be placed around the hall. Just scan them with your mobile phone, decipher the clues from these codes and use them to answer questions that’ll get you super prizes. You do need a barcode reader app on your phone, though and if you don’t have on, just download it from the internet. And you thought you’d never need one? Huh!

While you’re wide-eyed with wonder, use your phone to snap photos of what enthralls you at the expo and send them to the judges via MMS. Prizes for the best shots will be given at 5pm every day, so start snooping around early! Keep it clean, though peeps J

Treasure hunts for codes and clues, gorgeous models, snapping photos of what tickles your fancy – what else is there to get and keep your adrenalin on high? Well, you can start getting a buzz right NOW! There are photo and video competitions to enter; just use your mobile phone to capture your minds’ imagination. AND, if you’re one of the first 50 subscribers to the Mobile World magazine, you’ll get an LG phone, FREE! FREE! FREE!

Well you can head over to Cyberjaya and capture photos of what YOU think portrays the spirit of this intelligent city. Your photos will appear in Harian Metro, and of course there are prizes to be won for having fun too. Details of how to participate are at www.gomobile.my

Or maybe you like video to capture the motion? Yes, you can do that too at the ‘Truly Asia Reality Mobile Video Contest’. Now this is one that tugs at the heartstrings – you get to submit what you see as being unique about Malaysia (any part of it), from YOUR point of view. Prizes promise to be tantalizing and yes, they do include mobile phones for you! Want to see what some students have submitted in a competition for them? Visit http://www.gomobile.my/ and judge by voting for your favorite entry by the students

Panting with anticipation already? Good. Join the rest of us at http://www.clique.gomobile.my/ and show your registration at the GoMobile Clique Booth to collect your very own gift. See you there on Oct 23,24,25! Promise?

Getting to ………. Sweet Surrender

Ooo Ooo Ooo! Girlfriends’ husband was flirting over the phone with their travel agent, using seductive tones to chastise her about not recognizing his voice straight off AND actually threatening to book their family’s vacation with someone else instead. Was it really teasing? Or massaged coercion would be more apt ha ha. And don’t we all just LOVE a massage?

Then there is jocular Couple who are successful business partners. Such a delight to be with, they are a warm and friendly pair with engaging eyes and smiles Part of their strategy is to introduce themselves as siblings; why? So that Husband could flatter business women into doing business with their company while Wife remained present without causing discomfort to female clients.

While mulling over these Eyesights which had unraveled before me, my mind traversed across Time and retrieved some other interesting conversations of yore: Waaaaaaay back when, we adolescents were relaxing on the beach, and the name of the game-of-the-moment was for the guys to see how many girls’ attention they could attract. Cousin was delighted at his repeated success and laughed as he said disparagingly “They think we’re whistling at them because we like them Ha ha fooled them!”. Hello, hello? Are you beginning to wonder about what’s behind the ‘tease and please’ of flirtations?

Hmmmmm. Remember the whole set of agonizing circumstances discussed in the book / movie/ shows etc. “He’s just not that into you” which cautions against imagining a relationship or emotional connection where actually there is none? The game of delicious innuendo is still played out every day, everywhere, to achieve differing ends. It is one common method of communication used by both genders for myriad reasons.

“Why do guys do that?” I had asked a guest Counselor at a radio station in England I used to work at. Well-seasoned Counselsor and I often engaged in extremely candid conversations (sometimes blushingly so) about human behavior . His answer was simple “Because they feel duty bound to try” HA HA HA Did that not match Cousin’s observations of a decade before almost perfectly? Clear and fair warning about how to be realistic about testosterone-motivated conversations - both verbal and non-verbal, by both guys and gals huh?

But fair’s fair, people – its not just guys who do tap into the effects of testosterone. Remember Samson and Delilah? Boy oh Boy, did she convince him so successfully with her flirtations that his emotional blindness became physical – he actually lost his eyeballs to his enemies!!!! What a horrible price to pay for ego-tripping. Are we perhaps ego-tripping when we succumb to flattery and flirtation in the workplace at the expense of exercising better judgment in a given situation? Can you perhaps recall instances of regretting falling for an engaging pitch that was not backed up by a good product or service? The reference here to intangible caressing not be validated by a tangible outcome?

The Sights of my inner and outer eyes pose this question “Just how harmless are innuendo, flattery and flirtation when they mislead another party into doing something that they otherwise would not have done? At what point does geninely building rapport give way to not-so-honorable intentions?” Do the means justify the end of reaching ones objectives? Are flattery and flirtation forms of coercive power and control, in disguise? What do YOU think?
Regardless, though, the decision to succumb to them lies firmly in the choice of those who choose to lie back and sweetly surrender to lingering glances and dulcet tones, and NOT with the seductive aggressors. Each of us is accountable for our own choices aren’t we?

The same Coin with 2 Sides bonded by the Rim

Owner, Manager and I - luxuriated in an elegant English afternoon tea on the spacious verandah overlooking the sprawling mature garden of a stately home, while a harpist softly plucked soothingly in the plush décor of the drawing room inside. They chose classic, clean, Assam while I sipped my favored aromatic, sensuous Early Grey; reflective of our personalities, perhaps? Ahhh! Deceptive bliss! Different persons, varying (perhaps even conflicting) agendas but with one purpose – to foster better cohesion among the business communities we serve within.

This surprising Tea was spawned by my Reason’s urgency to resolve issues at the soonest possible, while the opportunity still presented itself. It was the result of hours of building bridges, to cement them face-to-face. As I (the shuttle diplomat) played host, explaining the various daintily presented courses, my mind sped to and from the days of training and discussions we’d just completed, about moving the groups forward. I listened as Owner and Manager shared stories of their international experiences with other groups under the same umbrella. Tick, tick, tick went my brain – cultural differences demand segmented positioning, I silently decided. One size simply cannot fit all. Hmmmmm.

But you know, here’s the funny ha ha part – the situation made me think of 2 F&B establishments in London – the Ivy and the Pear Tree. Okay, so you may have heard of the Ivy in central London. This is where glam celebrities get spotted, and it caters to the smart business set and ogling tourists. Now the Pear Tree – that’s a VERY different kettle of fish – it’s a pub that is frequented by a different social class who physically perspire at their work, and their suppliers too. Its attraction was a gaudy stripper at lunchtime on weekdays, when they are heavily patronized. Both the Ivy and the Pear Tree serve Food and Beverages, but provide vastly differing entertainment (ogling at either the glamorous or the gaudy) set in an ambience (posh or basic) that makes their clientele feel at ease so that they return for more. Talk about cleverly securing customer loyalty huh?

And then there’s us, discussing the pulls and tugs of our varying roles. Why? So that we could achieve delivering sustainable profitability to each member in our care; that after all is why they come on board anyway. Or is it? Oh, what the hey – that’s a separate issue anyway. The crux of the issue is to provide appropriate standardized platforms that can be differentiated to suit the culture of each group.

Amid discussions, Manager cast an unfavorable eye over the dainty dish cuddling the crème brulee and decided to skip it. ‘Not MY cup of tea!’ she said, BUT she had never even tried it before! Coaxed by Owner and me she tentatively dipped a corner of a delicate silver spoon into the edge of the trembling yellow confection, and placed a teeny tiny bit onto her expectant tongue. Ooooo! Surprisingly delicious! She actually finished her cupful with delighted relish. YES she did!

That encapsulated the theme of the our discussion for me: Offer the fixed structural set (afternoon tea), and then – without compromising those principles that are set in stone (3 varying courses introduced by the staple scones, double cream & fresh strawberries accompanied by a range of flavored teas) – flexibly keep adjusting (“oh, do try the crème brulee won’t you?”) and re-adjusting the ambience, entertainment, décor, food etc to give people an experience they just can’t resist keep coming back for more to. That’s the supreme marketing mix, isn’t it! SMILE. But uh-huh you've got it, it takes the professionalism of a juggler to carry it off well – that’s what separates the good from the brilliant anyway.

An Ambassador is ......... huh?

Hello you! Would you like to be an Ambassador for Company ABC? All you need to do is quote “pay us RMX, we give one year’s supply of Y for your use and for each person you refer to us we pay you RMZ “. How tacky is that?!!!!

But that is precisely what was said to me as I sat in semi-amusement, as he offered to get someone to help me to sign on the dotted line. Boy oh boy! There was simply no diplomacy or finesse attached to this stark proposition at all! Simply put, it was offensive to sensibilities and it STANK! What was outrageous is that there are unsuspecting novices who fall for this ‘exalted position’ because they don’t even know what an Ambassador is! Has the designation degenerated to mean ‘salesperson’? What a sad, sad, aberration!

HOW did I find myself involved in such a conversation anyway? Well actually it was because a pair of nice, eager spanking new recruits had phoned the main office to talk about their products and of their interest in my group of credible, established, business networkers, that’s how. They themselves were fine guys and did a good job of explaining the up-market services within plush surroundings that this new, cash-rich company was embarking on. I do believe that their products will succeed in providing value to consumers but oh! the company should improve its tone of approach, for their own sakes. Brand delivery can make a world of difference to being sustainable.

The funny ha-ha side was how hard the so-called Marketing Director tried to sound convincing that he was doing me a favor. (Smile.) Did he even believe himself or was he mentally salivating over potential zeroes in his bank statements? The funnier side was that upon examining my calling card he was trying to relate his offer to my being a BNI (Business Network International) Ambassador. Hello, hello, buddy, there is NO comparison. Nada. None whatsoever. BNI does NOT pay its Ambassadors, and we don’t get referral fees or commissions either. We just help members to improve what they are doing – like chapter coaches if you will. In fact our code of ethics is pretty clear about all members living up to the BNI Philosophy of Givers Gain by building relationships, not ‘let’s work out how to transfer money from your wallet to mine’. (Shudder of disgust.) Ugh!

As I drove off to my next meeting my mind harked back to the original term of Ambassador i.e. the title of a senior diplomat who represents his or her country’s Government. And part of such an influential status actually meant not engaging in ANY form of commercial activity – that would only tarnish the image and credibility of that position.

In fact, the significance of being the representative of one’s Government was brought home to me during a time when the flaming hot international news was that a Government was on the verge of being toppled within 24 hours. I asked the incumbent Ambassador how he would position himself and if he was poised to go home if the Government did fall. What was his plain and simple reply? “My role is to stay on and represent the Government of the day regardless”. Ah! Such dedication to the duty of representation. But THAT is what Ambassadors do. They represent a system of governance, or set of qualities and promises (as in Brand Ambassadors), NOT COMMERCE!

The Gentlemanly Client

I replaced the china teacup on its matching saucer and he commented favorably on the mark that my carmine-red lipstick had left on the cup’s pristine white rim. Hmmm!!!!!!! The remark took me aback because most people would have been too absorbed in other things to even notice; but it shouldn’t have, as it really was quite typical of his multi-faceted nature.

He is quite unusual in that he is surgically precise in his dealings, razor sharp, quite demanding and unwavering in his objectives, and yet wraps his exchanges with people (male and female alike, of ALL ages) in impeccable manners that are personalized and yet without misleading, or being flirtatious. No lingering eye contact or prolonged handshakes which one encounters all too often. He is a consummate communicator par excellence indeed! He gets his point across without a whiff of creating false expectations that just might eventually sour relationships. His methods have worked exceedingly well - he has arrived at a position of immense influence in many countries, and amassed the thundering power and wealth that naturally accompanies that level of influence.

From our first business meeting Client had insisted that we would take tea together as we held our discussions – in fact on the couple of occasions he would even adjust the time of having his afternoon tea till I arrived, and his secretary would smilingly bring it in, within minutes of my sitting down. Perhaps it was our common familiarity with traditionally British ways of yore that had struck a rapport between us from the time we has first spoken – it was over the phone, when obviously our diction would have carried the greatest impact on our mutual perceptions of the unseen personality at the other end of the line.

Although he is busy making international deals he always returns my calls and messages promptly, emerges from his office to personally greet me and see me into it, and walks me to the elevator when I leave. The pointed questions I ask regarding progressions of our dealings are never avoided but always answered to clearly and accurately without giving too much of his part of the negotiations away.

But you know what has really endeared me to him? It was when – while we were waiting for someone to call back – he conspiratorially lowered his voice and asked “Would you like to see a picture of my old girlfriend? I still keep it in my wallet you know”. GULP. You could have knocked me down with a feather, but I struggled to keep my external composure and politely said “Of course. She must be very special to you if you have kept it all this time.” He took out his well-worn, leather wallet and fished into it to retrieve a faded, black-and-white photo yellowed and almost obscure now with age. He pointed to the male half of a stunningly attractive couple in their youth glowing into the camera and said “That was me.”

As he went on to lovingly describe the woman in the photo, I understood that while it had been taken when they were working on their professional qualifications, she had since become his wife and business partner – a challenging combination that had obviously withstood the grueling tests of time to become the ultimate couple who are now ‘two opposite halves of one whole entity’. Yin Yang.

I just can’t wait to meet her and anticipate being a witness to what must be an unwavering commitment that each one of them has kept – each one to being the fulfillment of the other. A very, very rare and invaluable stance. It reminds me of my days with the Kings: Barrington was a treasured supervisor and mentor who exuded a fearsome and commanding power over everyone (he was U.S. Ambassador Plenipotentiary), but whose eyes would instantly soften and features would melt when his beloved Sara walked in, even at a business meeting. Sweet! Precious, embalmingly Sweet!

Is there Poison in Your Food?

I pulled over to the side of the road to take the call – my pulse beats raced and my heart began sinking in disbelief as I heard the words “My partner says don’t do it. He knows that it won’t work.”

Just a couple of days before I had explained to Bizman and Wife, whom I’d known for many years, how he could start increasing the number of business projects he gets, with the accompanying evidence of how the strategy has already been working sustainably for decades. No, I don’t get paid for any of this. In fact it is done at my own expense of time and money for transport as well as the accompanying refreshments at meetings. My friends ask me why I bother to make the effort.

Well, remember Ngahi – the man in a previous blog, who had determinedly had his face tattooed to proclaim his purpose? His challenge to his listeners had been to identify “what makes you weep?” and then to unwaveringly work to address that particular issue, as a personal mission. From him I understood that it takes both persistence and pain to act to reduce the weeping. For me the weeping comes from knowing that every human has access to greater inner joy and outer prosperity, but needs others who are willing to show them the access points, and to lead them through, if they indeed have in themselves the willingness to step up to the next level of personal fulfillment. It is People who are my passion and Ngahi drove home to me that it will take a lifetime of painful persistence to reduce the weeping if I am serious about being true to myself.

So, I had offered to introduce Bizman and Wife to a group of people who would be willing to commit themselves to learning more about what they do, and to recommending their services to those to whom they already do business with. Isn’t it magical to have credible people refer business from their own networks to you? They believed so too and made their own commitment to check the opportunity out. BUT like the serpent in Eden, their trusted Bizpartner sowed the seeds of doubt in their minds, and they become torn between fear of potential loss and stepping up to potential gain.

Familiar, isn’t it? You’ve been there too, haven’t you? The seductively pretty faces of trusted feelings, comfort zones and pleasant familiarity can be the narcotics that keep us from realizing that we are willingly consuming toxic arsenic – it shows no trace in our food, you know. Often arsenic is detected only at autopsies i.e. after death has already occurred and its too late for resuscitation.

I decided to take the bull by the horns, and invite Bizpartner to come along to meet the group too. Will he dare to call his own bluff? We’ll see if he does show up won’t we! Hopefully he will, and can then take some steps up for himself too. If he wants to, that is.

Oh those pretty faces in our lives that cleverly tickle our egos and so artfully please us all!

This is How We Get the $ Due

The Project Director (PD) phoned immediately after receiving my text message, even though it was the weekend! “Oh! I had NO idea!” And I do believe that he was indeed telling the truth.

Weeks earlier, I had completed what was asked of me without any hitch. The Project Manager (PM) was present towards the end of what we were working on, and was supposed to hand over the payment by cheque. The same company had done this before and I was quite comfortable with the arrangement.

At the end of this job though – it was very late at night because of problems with their equipment – PD said that PM had forgotten to get the boss to sign the cheque before he left, and to leave my banking details so that she could deposit it into my account. That too was quite acceptable. Like the rest of us she had been focusing on getting the job completed by a very tight deadline. BUT a whole week later? Nothing had been banked in. Aaaargh! What a terrible nuisance.

However, what became disconcerting is when no one would pick up the phone when I called. HUH? Something’s not quite right is it? So I went down to the office to investigate. The staff were in the dark about the matter, and very helpfully called the HQ, where this time the phone was answered (for a familiar caller id ha ha) PM then said the boss was overseas and would be back the following Tuesday, and she would get the check signed and bank it in on Wednesday. Hmmm – this was beginning to sound familiar, but okay – these things do happen sometimes, don’t they? Just maybe he had flown off without being accessible to his staff?

But Wednesday, Thursday, Friday – no payment. This was not funny anymore, so my PA – using our office number, called to investigate. Her experience was not in the least bit comforting, to put it mildly. She was transferred back and forth from the Accounts to the PM – it seemed neither wanted to handle the hot potato! And finally – do you know what she was told? “We don’t know when the cheque will be ready, we will call you” What was that original statment about the cheque being ready during the job but was unsigned?

Now this was an abomination!!! Totally unacceptable. So PM received an emailed letter from me which was copied to my lawyer, and the PD got a gentle text message from me saying that regrettably the matter would be passed onto my lawyer if payment was not made within X days. Bingo! His immediate reaction was to phone me reassuring that he would personally see to the cheque being banked into my account pronto. And it was. You know – of course you do, this is not the first occurrence of this sort for me or countless others. (You too?)

Why? Why? Why? Do finance people in particular have no qualms about saying things they don’t mean? When, when, when will finance people understand that because of their tactics, there WILL be types of retaliation that will either raise the cost of their doing business, or lower the quality of the resources they get and ultimately affect their own products? Sigh.

Integrity IS bankable, people! Trust and dependability reduce costs and raise quality. That’s precisely why word-of-mouth (WOM) business referrals are the MOST prized and sought after – they are the most effective method of marketing a business can engage in because reputations and survival are at stake.

INTEGRITY IS BANKABLE! :D

The Claims Manager said “Because xxxxxxx , we believe that the claims are genuine we will be approving them.” Oh? His words alerted me that from his view there might have been an attempt to defraud. In fact, very probably a large part of his job is to guard his company from fraudulent claims! And this would subsequently have to translate into expensive protective measures at the cost of the honest. Huh! So, what’s new, Sherlock?

That mental jolt to reality had my head spinning towards the surrounding circumstances. If insurance companies have to contend with realizing that the workshops on their panel just might be colluding with unscrupulous owners to make unnecessary gains, then they would naturally have to act with suspicion and not trust. Aha! This is very useful to being more insightful when giving responses in my work as a Management Consultant. Gives Risk Management a greater dimension than is obvious, doesn’t it? And this simply raises the cost of doing business as - is true of all unfair practices. Incidentally, the damage to my car looked worse than it was, and cost the insurance company only a small sum by any standards, thank God!

Remember when part of my documentation to make the claims had been withheld from me, and I was told that I had to “get that particular report only from the one officer”? Why? When they could have been released by any authorized officer and not just one? The proverbial penny was beginning to drop as to why it was more expensive to have the workshop collect the documents. Hmmmm.

Yes indeed. My recent car accident was roughly shaking me up into the realities of what doing business means for many people. By God’s Grace, I have not had much experience with sordid transactions, but He obviously thinks that it is time for me to be educated in life at this level and to stop being naïve if I want to be a constructive participant of communal living, and to continue to campaign actively but realistically for accountability at all levels.

“Supply and Demand’ kept ringing in my ears - no supply unless there is a demand eh? In Utopia, costs would only be fair and not ‘loaded’ by risk management. But Utopia seems to keep drifting further into galaxies beyond reach. The cost of refusing demands can be destructive to one’s ambitions, after all. I’m also beginning to understand why some people refer to ‘inflexibility’ as a barrier to getting things done peaceably. Sweetening the lips of the Kitchen God is a more common practice, finding favor with Expediency. But WHO pays the eventual price?

But, But, But, this form of expediency gives rise to higher $ costs, higher levels of suspicion, and will consequently result in higher levels of stress, costing heath related expenditure! Isn’t it so much simpler, cheaper – and joyous too - to be able to take someone at their word? What an easy life to be able to bet $ on someone to because of their integrity! Due to the global exposure of corporate misconduct in recent years, integrity has become a very timely form of economic management, with formal courses on it being conducted e.g. the Integrity Pacts between public and private sectors in jointly managing projects.

‘Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive’ wrote Robert Burns (1759 – 1796); especially if it is ourselves whom we are kidding.