OF PARTY DRESSES AND PIERCED HEARTS

Yes! yes! yes! It was party time!! My new dress was an absolutely gorgeous shade of turquoise shot with deep emerald, with lots of ultra feminine folds and gathers. Hmmmmm I was really looking forward to wearing it, but how would I accessorize it? I looked through my collection of baubles and bags and NOTHING matched. Sigh. Was it really worth buying something new? The ensemble was not going to last me after all – it was to be worn a couple of times and then discarded for being out of fashion. And though the colour was simply stunning, the fabric was not the best and it would be a mismatch to use real jewellery with it.

Out shopping, I wandered happily through arrays of costume jewelry, pulling the dress out to match it with some likely pieces that beckoned and noticed …………….. the cheaper items were very accessible to touch and try on. The mid-range ones were packaged and not so easily accessible, while the real thing was locked behind glass, needing a key before they could be tried on. One could look but not touch, unless one at least appeared to be a genuine customer. As I reflected on the various displays, strangely, a raw stab from the past ripped through my memory and still managed to pierce even my now older heart: When I was young my boyfriend had said something similar – about baubles being easily available to be tried while the precious jewels are kept locked away. So? So?

It had been party time then too, but my parents had not allowed me to attend it, yeah well. No long after though – you know how it is - word had got back to me about his behavior with a ‘friend’ of mine. And that had been his response – about baubles compared with jewels. Quite inexperienced and naïve, I hadn’t thought too much about what lay behind his glib explanation until it was waaaay too late and we were married – to my mind, for the rest of our lives. His value system of varying values with regard to women was alien to mine in which partners were mutually exclusive out of a willingness to honor one another while a relationship was ongoing. He saw nothing wrong with his way – neither do many other people which is fine if it is by mutual agreement, but our value systems were obviously incompatible and repeatedly left me painfully devastated many times over in the years we shared. If only I’d known sooner?

Anyway, I managed to get nice but inexpensive accessories to match the casual turquoise dress, and received many compliments about the overall effect. Why not? It was all about having fun, after all. I was chirpily happy to have enjoyed the dress and accessories, even though they would not stay in my wardrobe for very long.

Shortly after that party however, another celebration was coming up, and this time I chose to wear an old favorite – a red velvet dress in a classic, timeless design. Aha, this one had been a keeper, so the golden accessories I chose to go with it were suitably not of the category to be discarded in a hurry too. On the night of the second party several people remarked on how good I looked. BUT but but ………oh me, oh my, it was obviously not good enough for the only person who mattered to me. Accessibility won out yet again, and my tears flowed for weeks and weeks and weeks afterwards. Oh well. At least this time the searing pain came sooner and not later. Still, it had gone deep though and was not a bit relived or comforted even when Ms. Accessible soon went out of fashion herself and was conveniently replaced by Ms. Available. And life goes on. And on And on?