Getting to ………. Sweet Surrender

Ooo Ooo Ooo! Girlfriends’ husband was flirting over the phone with their travel agent, using seductive tones to chastise her about not recognizing his voice straight off AND actually threatening to book their family’s vacation with someone else instead. Was it really teasing? Or massaged coercion would be more apt ha ha. And don’t we all just LOVE a massage?

Then there is jocular Couple who are successful business partners. Such a delight to be with, they are a warm and friendly pair with engaging eyes and smiles Part of their strategy is to introduce themselves as siblings; why? So that Husband could flatter business women into doing business with their company while Wife remained present without causing discomfort to female clients.

While mulling over these Eyesights which had unraveled before me, my mind traversed across Time and retrieved some other interesting conversations of yore: Waaaaaaay back when, we adolescents were relaxing on the beach, and the name of the game-of-the-moment was for the guys to see how many girls’ attention they could attract. Cousin was delighted at his repeated success and laughed as he said disparagingly “They think we’re whistling at them because we like them Ha ha fooled them!”. Hello, hello? Are you beginning to wonder about what’s behind the ‘tease and please’ of flirtations?

Hmmmmm. Remember the whole set of agonizing circumstances discussed in the book / movie/ shows etc. “He’s just not that into you” which cautions against imagining a relationship or emotional connection where actually there is none? The game of delicious innuendo is still played out every day, everywhere, to achieve differing ends. It is one common method of communication used by both genders for myriad reasons.

“Why do guys do that?” I had asked a guest Counselor at a radio station in England I used to work at. Well-seasoned Counselsor and I often engaged in extremely candid conversations (sometimes blushingly so) about human behavior . His answer was simple “Because they feel duty bound to try” HA HA HA Did that not match Cousin’s observations of a decade before almost perfectly? Clear and fair warning about how to be realistic about testosterone-motivated conversations - both verbal and non-verbal, by both guys and gals huh?

But fair’s fair, people – its not just guys who do tap into the effects of testosterone. Remember Samson and Delilah? Boy oh Boy, did she convince him so successfully with her flirtations that his emotional blindness became physical – he actually lost his eyeballs to his enemies!!!! What a horrible price to pay for ego-tripping. Are we perhaps ego-tripping when we succumb to flattery and flirtation in the workplace at the expense of exercising better judgment in a given situation? Can you perhaps recall instances of regretting falling for an engaging pitch that was not backed up by a good product or service? The reference here to intangible caressing not be validated by a tangible outcome?

The Sights of my inner and outer eyes pose this question “Just how harmless are innuendo, flattery and flirtation when they mislead another party into doing something that they otherwise would not have done? At what point does geninely building rapport give way to not-so-honorable intentions?” Do the means justify the end of reaching ones objectives? Are flattery and flirtation forms of coercive power and control, in disguise? What do YOU think?
Regardless, though, the decision to succumb to them lies firmly in the choice of those who choose to lie back and sweetly surrender to lingering glances and dulcet tones, and NOT with the seductive aggressors. Each of us is accountable for our own choices aren’t we?